Feeling Like a Bridezilla? How to Manage Wedding Stress With Compassion
Wedding planning in 2025 has been a doozy to say the least. Stress, annoyance, and frustration have all been along for the ride…and honestly, those are valid feelings. Planning a wedding is a huge undertaking, amplified by unrealistic societal expectations (a topic that could take an entire post of its own). No matter how together you are, the size of your budget, or the level of involvement from your fiancé, emotions will surface whether you like it or not.
What I didn’t expect was that my wedding year would become a crash course in personal growth. Not just because my fiancé and I are building a life together, but because this process has pulled forward insecurities, family dynamics, and long-buried fears. Some of these things don’t need to be confronted and can be grieved quietly without trying to find a fix (like recognizing that certain friendships have shifted). But others demand hard conversations. There are many parties involved and there’s a timeline…the clock is ticking. Wedding planning stress has a way of cracking open relationships, forcing you to reckon with what’s been there all along. Sometimes that looks like realizing certain relationships aren’t as simple or as close as you thought they were.
Common Pain Points
Feeling isolated. At the end of the day, the hard reality is that your wedding is most important to you. Even the most supportive people (your mom, your friends) won’t feel it with the same intensity. That gap can be lonely.
Uneven support from your partner. It can highlight dynamics you’ve been avoiding. Many women take on maternal roles in relationships, only to suddenly expect their partner to transform into their right-hand planner. When he isn’t excited about stationery or glassware, it can feel like a lack of care rather than simply a difference in interest.
Feeling preyed upon by the industry. The wedding business (especially the California wedding industry) thrives on desperation. Upcharges are normalized, price tags feel untouchable, and couples are left believing that everything costs at least $1,500 - because “that’s just how it is.”
The Silver Lining
As much as I’ve cursed the process, I can’t deny the growth it has forced…
My relationship with my dad has been pushed out of its fragile balance, but that disruption allowed for honesty that had been missing for years.
I’ve realized that some friendships aren’t meant to carry forward, and that doesn’t mean I’m unworthy, it just means people grow in different directions.
I’ve had to let people celebrate me, and admit that it feels really good. I’ve had to wrestle with comparison - scrolling Pinterest and Instagram, sizing my wedding up against others - and remind myself that my wedding will be mine, not better or worse, just special to me and my fiancé, and those we love.
I’ve had to confront the lie that I’m the only person who can do things “right,” and instead lean into the discomfort (and relief) of asking for help.
So, am I a bridezilla? Maybe. Or maybe weddings just have a way of stripping us down to what’s real, the messy, unpolished parts of ourselves we’d rather not face. And maybe that’s the point: a wedding isn’t just the start of a marriage, it’s a mirror that reflects who we are and how we show up in our closest relationships.
Tangible Ways to Cope With Wedding Stress
If you’re in the thick of it yourself, here are some ways to soften the edges of the process:
See a therapist. Having a neutral place to process family dynamics, stress, and fears can make all the difference.
Try pre-marital counseling. It might feel intimidating, like you’re opening doors you’d rather keep shut, but it’s actually a supportive, structured space to have the hard conversations before they become roadblocks. And remember, everyone in that room is on the same team, focused on setting you up for success, not failure.
Talk to friends who’ve been through it. They’ll normalize what feels overwhelming and remind you that the chaos eventually ends.
Schedule weekly check-ins with your partner. Even if they’re not as invested in linens and glassware, it helps to set aside a time where you can divide tasks, vent, and reconnect.
Set regular meetings with your wedding “team.” Whether that’s family members, a planner, or trusted friends, having a standing check-in helps you delegate and keeps you from carrying everything alone.
Create non-wedding time. Plan a date night, a night out with friends, or even a solo afternoon where wedding talk is off-limits. You’re still a whole person outside this one day.
Name your limits. It’s okay to say no to things that feel like “nice-to-haves” but aren’t worth the stress (hello, custom cocktail napkins).
Practice asking for help early. The more you delegate, the less you’ll feel like the world is on your shoulders — and the easier it becomes to let go of control.
